Saturday, April 12, 2008

Planting flowers in memory of Shannon

I started a flower garden in memory of my daughter. If the rabbits don't eat everything, it should be full of beautiful flowers soon. It doesn't come close to making me feel better, but at least I feel like I am doing something to beautify the world the way she would have had she lived. I wish there was something that I could do that would take away the pain of losing her, or the pain of my friends who have gone through similar losses, but there isn't anything that can fix that. There are so many people in the world who lost their baby who would have been great parents, while so many children suffer in terrible and cruel homes, and it isn't fair.

I've wondered for a while what I have learned from this loss - and all that I can figure out is that we don't decide when our children come into this world, and we don't decide when they leave, but we love them deeply and we hurt deeply when they are gone. And planning your life around expectations can leave you with nothing if they don't work out, so it might be better to just let things happen. But I still miss my baby and wish she was still here with me.

No comments: