Friday, February 15, 2008

Starting a blog to remember my baby Shannon

I decided to start this blog as a way to remember by beautiful baby Shannon Elizabeth, who was born sleeping on Friday, February 8, 2008, at 4:08 a.m. She was 17 weeks, 5 days old when we found out that she had died. I had been able to find her with my home doppler on Wednesday morning, but she was gone when I went to look for her on Thursday morning. We were not expecting this at all. She had been perfectly fine at her ultrasound on Friday, February 1, moving and healthy, and doing everything that she was supposed to do. Less than a week later, she was gone.

I had two first trimester losses in 2007, in February and in June. Not alot of people know about the second loss, there are even some people that we didn't tell about the first loss. Now, we have our third loss and, in some ways, this loss of my beautiful little girl is the hardest of them all because she was doing so well and she was so real. Everyone thought we were out of the woods, and I had just started to be happy about my pregnancy and to tell people and we were busy getting Shannon's room painted and ready for her arrival in July. Now, here we are in February, waiting to bring her ashes home. Not the same thing. Not even close.

I decided to start this blog to chart my journey back to life and to remember the time that Shannon graced my life and the life of my family. I haven't completely figured everything out yet, but I know that I am a different person for having had my time with her. Healing and moving forward is the best tribute I could pay to her and so it is what I need to do.

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