Well, I guess 10 months and a few days, since Shannon died. It's been a weird year. We (I) decided that we were not going to send holiday cards this year, because the thought of writing a holiday letter that is about how much everything sucks after your baby dies seemed to be a bit of a holiday downer. So, I'd rather be a grinch. Because, no matter what, when you have a living child, you can't pretend that there are no holidays. You get excited for them, because, in some ways, your life has moved on in those 10 months since your life turned upside down. And, my life has moved on in many ways.
Except for the fact that I still miss Shannon every day, and wish that there was a different reality where none of this happened and that there was a little girl staring up at our tree, alongside her brother this year.
Shannon - we miss and love you lots. The butterflies are away for the winter, but they'll be back soon.
2 comments:
We aren't doing any holiday cards for the same reason. I'm sorry you don't have your little girl with you this Christmas. My heart goes out to all suffering mothers through these holidays.
Nothing will ever fill the void left by our babies, but I hope 2009 will bring new joys and greater peace.
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