2 1/2 years ago, Shannon was born. It's strange to see a little ticker on the bottom of a page, and to see the time that has passed since you experienced something so terribly sad. Man, I miss knowing what my life would have been like with her in it, present in a physical way, instead of just in my heart and dreams. It just sucks.
A couple of weeks ago, my pet of 15 years died. When the vet found out that my pet died, the entire office sent us a card, with their condolences. Everyone in the office signed it. It's so easy to express condolences for a pet, why isn't so easy for people to express condolences for a dead child?
Something else that I have discovered about myself is that I am still not ready to deal with other people's pregnancies. I have never had an issue with any of my loss friends and their rainbow babies, but I still have an issue with the others - the ones who didn't travel this road. The ones who post stuff at 10 weeks on their facebook and who go through their pregnancy expecting that it will turn out ok. I don't begrudge them their joy, and I wish them well, but I still don't want to deal with it. Having a rainbow baby is not some magical healing elixer. It doesn't make it better. I wish it did.
2 1/2 years is a long time. But it feels like just yesterday sometimes.
