Sometimes my Ipod speaks to me...

I bought this song off I-tunes long before I lost Shannon. When I was listening to it yesterday, the words had such a deeper meaning to me now that she is gone. I would give anything to go back in time and to have more time with her, and I wish that I appreciated better the time that we did have when I was pregnant, but I can't change it. All I have are my memories, and my pain, and my hope for the future. That's all we get after those we love are gone. Photos, heart-shaped boxes, momentos from a moment in time that always seems to have gone by too fast.

These moments in time always go by too fast because we never figure that something bad is going to happen to change it all in a blink of an eye. And it happens. And it is only after it happens that we remember that it always happens that way. We just don't think about it because that would be a crappy way to go through life, always waiting for the other shoe to drop and loving everyone as if they would die tomorrow. It makes for a great country song, but the reality is that it's really hard to do and most of us - well, me at least, just can't do it. I don't think that you can't sit there and be a functional human being if all you think about is how everyone (including yourself) could die at any second. I don't know if you would ever leave your house (or your bed) if you thought that way. But, I guess sometimes, life kicks you in the ass to remind you that it happens. And that it sucks when the death happens close to you. And nothing is closer to you than the life that was growing inside you.

This may be the first and last time that I quote from anyone who has ever been in a boy band again, but I put it out there for your consumption...

Ordinary Day - Nick Lachey

I wish I could tell you
the things I never got the chance to
I wish I was with you now
to see you smile again

I wish we had more time
but time goes by so fast
The moment comes and
Then the moment passes by
In the blink of an eye

And If I had one wish
I Wouldn't ask for money
I wouldn't ask for fame
I wouldn't ask for the power to make this world change
If i could have one thing
that one thing that I would chose is
one more ordinary day with you
With you

I wish I could see you
and be there where my arms could reach you
I wish I could let you know
how much you touch my life
maybe a little time is all the time we get
The Words we long to say are words that go unsaid
you can't go back again

But if I had one wish
I Wouldn't ask for money
I wouldn't ask for fame
I wouldn't ask for the power to make this world change
If i could have one thing that one thing that I would chose is
one more ordinary day
With you

I wish we had more time
Time goes by so fast
The moment comes and
Then the moment passes by
In the blink of an eye
But if I had one wish
I Wouldn't ask for money
I wouldn't ask for fame
I wouldn't ask for the power to make this world change, no
If i could have one thing
that one thing that I would chose is
one more ordinary day
Just one more ordinary day with you
with you